i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
