walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize