im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
