I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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