i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
