Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
