dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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