just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
