Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
