Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
