I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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