i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
