Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
