Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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