I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
