at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
