Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
