yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
