thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
