Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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