guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
