I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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