I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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