Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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