Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
