So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
