i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
