hotel room ftw
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
