After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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