he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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