Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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