I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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