is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
