my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think my mom watched the whole time
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
