I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
