He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
