Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
