Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
