He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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