he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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