ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
And then he peed in my hair
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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