I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
