She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
