Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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