I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it was like eating out sand paper
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
