i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want to have your abortion
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
