Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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