forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
