I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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