I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
